PLAN THE PERFECT ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY.

Written by Emma Overton from AskMen.com

Another Valentine’s Day is upon us. Your local grocery store is stocked with frilly red boxes of bon-bons and 4-foot teddy bears filled with cinnamon hearts; in an attempt to replicate the traumatic grade school experience of exchanging Valentines, your office is coordinating the delivery of anonymous “candygrams” from secret admirers; and in the evening, the restaurant windows are filled with lovey-dovey couples huddled over candlelit meals of overpriced food and cheap wine.

In the midst of all this cloying, Hallmark-holiday crap, you’re suddenly finding you have a lot in common with the ostrich — as you’d happily bury your head underground for a full 24 hours.

Maybe you recently broke up, maybe you’ve been single for a while now, or maybe you’re hitched and just hate the whole concept of the holiday. Whatever the reason, we’re here to help you celebrate the ultimate Anti-Valentine’s Day — a day for people who can think of a few other places Cupid can stick his arrow.

Plan a road trip

What better way to avoid all the commotion than hightailing it out of town? You could find a cheap ticket to somewhere warm, wild and boozy; visit an old friend; get a bus out to the closest casino for a boys’ night; or pick a concert in another city and road trip it out there with some other single friends.

Attend an anti-Valentines Day party

A number of cities are home to Anti-Valentine’s Day bashes. D.C. practically has a week-long string of Anti-Valentine’s events for singles. Or if you’re really ambitious, throw your own party! Buzzfeed has tips for how to throw an Anti-Valentine’s Day fete.

Cook an elaborate meal with your friends

The more elaborate the better. Endeavor to master some tricky recipe that requires days of preparation and the purchase of a specialty culinary item like a cheesecloth or a cooking torch. It’ll keep you occupied — and come next Valentine’s Day, you can impress your date with your chef-school recipe and your, um, cheesecloth.

Rent some horror movies

Forget about When Harry Met Sally — what about when Freddy met Jason? Leave the rom-com section to the couples and engage in a personal game of Fear Factor with Leatherface, Jack from The Shiningand that little girl from The Ring. Whew, that little girl gives us the heebie-jeebies.

Drink with friends

But not sad drunk. The goal here is to have fun, not to break down into a puddle of desperation and text all your exes. Go out to that mechanical-bull bar with a bunch of friends and pretend one of you is getting married, because what’s better than a bachelor party? A fake bachelor party. Make it a Valentine’s Day to remember — or not remember, whichever.

Visit your parents

Who better to spend Valentine’s Day with than the people who are legally obligated to love you unconditionally? Don’t forget to bring Mom some roses.

Marathon a show

Never actually got around to watching Lost? Well, you’ve got a whole evening wide open to find out what the hell everyone was talking about back in 2005.

Reorganize your room

If you’re wondering “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” are happy to see a failed marriage become just a “Legal Matter,” told your cheating ex to “Cry Me A River” or recently decided “It Ain’t Me Babe,” Tina Turner, The Who, Justin Timberlake and Bob Dylan are here to commiserate. Or just get a bottle of whiskey and let Tom Waits wail you to sleep.

Get a tattoo

What’s the opposite of hearts and roses? Skulls and crossbones. It might be the perfect opportunity to turn that tattoo of your ex-girlfriend’s name into something a little more badass. It’s surprising how easily “Alice” turns into “Malice.”

Celebrate singles awareness day

Singles Awareness Day or “S.A.D.” exists in opposition to Valentine’s Day. According to the Wikipedia page, singles will both gather to commiserate and remind each other that you don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy life (crazy, right?). Apparently, a popular tradition is traveling to Brazil for the Brazilian Carnival, which is on February 14th. Brazil celebrates its own Valentine’s Day in June.

Go see local comedy

No one knows heartbreak and cynicism like a bunch of balding, pot-bellied middle-aged comedians. You’ll probably feel a lot better about your current state afterwards.

Buy yourself a wicked gift

Valentine’s Day gifts are weird. They’re always something like, a framed picture or a keychain or a poem — regardless of what it is, come February 15th, it gets stuffed in a drawer never to be looked at again. Take the day as an excuse to show yourself some self-love by getting something awesome — like some new sports equipment, a beer-brewing kit or some fancy shaving accessories.

Go out of a big meal with friends

Remind all the couples at the restaurant how much fun it is to get rowdy with a gang of good ol’ boys and girls.

Go paintballing

If you’re not looking for the sweet caress of a lover this Valentine’s Day, why not opt for the stinging pain of an expertly aimed paintball? There are more ways than one to get your heart racing — and really, what’s the difference between a rush of dopamine and a shot of adrenaline?

Practice self love

Who better to show your undying love towards than numero uno? You’re the one who wakes up every day, cooks you breakfast, goes to work to make money for you and takes care of you, so how about showing a little appreciation? Go out for a nice meal on you, hit the spa, or even practice self-love in the literal sense. No one’s judging, as long as it makes you happy.